Post by osc8r on Mar 29, 2009 23:41:13 GMT
Ok, I started masturbating on the weekend with a buddy and thought i'd share with you some of our impressions.
Warning, long, and lots of SPOILERS:
The character customization is brilliant, the best I have EVER seen bar none. It leaves MMO's for dead, yes, even pre-cu SWG. So my character turned out to be some obese, bald, make up lathered, facially deformed bloke with a females voice, and a bouncing style swagger to boot.
The game loaded, we woke up in a prison hospital - with the nurse removing my head bandages and the line "Yes, that's healed nicely", followed by the unveiling of my deformed, hideous face for the world to see. Yes, it had it us in stitches (no pun intended), and yes, this was just the beginning.
So our first task was to break out of prison. After beating the dr to a pulp, we took the opportunity to play around with our controls. What this really meant was that we were picking up IV stands, bins, and other metal objects and either cracking them over each others heads, or hurling them at each other.
Making our way out of the prison we were unleashing combo's on guards, jumping overhead blows, and backhand slaps were hilarious to see (especially when your character weighs in at 500+ pounds). Before even making our way outside the prison we had already amassed a collection of arms large enough to support a small military invasion - comprising of things including pistols, batons, machine guns, stun guns (again, hilarious to use on your buddy) and a plethora of throwing objects.
Now outside the prison building we were greeted by some police cruisers, which proceeded to try and run us over at max speed. My mate managed to shoot the driver of the closest cruiser, at which point I grabbed his colleague, who had only just bailed out, and used him as a human shield / hostage. With the police now focused on me, "let the hostage go" they were screaming, my buddy quickly flanked the unsuspecting offices, taking them down with his trusty 9mm.
Now, with no more use for my hostage I tried to release him, but if by a stroke of noob luck, I clicked the grab button again which happens to act as a throw button in this situation - and threw the officer clear off a 50foot drop to his messy demise. It is also at this point that we also realised our prison was actually on an island, and a long bloody way from the mainland.
Recovering from our laughter, my buddy proceed to walk down the road, but myself, being somewhat experienced with sandbox style games in the past (gta), jumped in one of the police cruisers and skidded up beside him, "wow" he said, "you can get cars too?!!". He jumped in the passenger seat, I turned the siren on, and off we fled...
After a few bends (and crashes) we pulled up at the prison guards car park, at which point we ditched the cruiser and stole a vehicle each; two jeep 4x4's. We spent the next few minutes racing around on the dirt tracks, ramming each other and just generally having fun, we were again interrupted by gunfire - there were now a dozen or so cops waiting up ahead at the docks.
Putting our foots down we headed straight at them, and together managed to squash, smash, and splat a good several officers... reversing over a few just for good measure.
"Crap! Incoming!", several cruisers came flying around behind us, we quickly jumped from our 4x4's and ran for the docks, "boat, get in!", "sh**, I'm down!" my mate yelled... taking cover behind a large crate I pulled out my m16 which I had been saving for emergencies - focusing fire on the patrol cars they quickly began emitting smoke, then fire - then booom! there was a massive explosion, axles, tyres, bumpers, and shrapnel went flying everywhere...
With the burning remains of the cruiser now providing needed cover, I ran towards my mate who was lying on the dirt in pain. I made it, and if by magic I poured some elixir (possibly beer?) on him and he was back up and ready to go!
Nothing more needed to be said, we sprinted towards the boat and jumped on board. After an action packed ride to the mainland, we now had the whole world at our fingertips. First stop? Clothing store! These bright orange jump suits just wont do it out here.
After a quick study of the map we found a clothing store not far away at all, so off we headed. Trying to keep a low profile we made our way around the back of the plaza, and walked in casually (well, as casually as you can in gear that screams 'i just broke out a prison and i'm angry, and desperate').
The shopkeeper didn't seem to mind though, and gave us a long list of available items. Browsing through this list quickly made our next mission evident - WE NEED MONEY, AND LOTS OF IT! $50 for a cap? $300 for a dress? Youch! So much for the store name - 'on the rag'.
Ok, so how do we make some quick cash we asked each other. Maybe we can steal clothes of people? Ok, so we walked around looking for a suitable victim, eventually finding a man in a black business suit - "get him!". Within 5 seconds he was down. "Crap, we can't get his gear" I said, but what's this, $20? He dropped $20! Our eyes widened and, well... all hell broke lose.
We pulled out our guns and went on a massacre. Civilians were running around with arms in the air screaming for their lives, it was mayhem. But it seemed that our plan to go low key had being long forgotten, there were sirens wailing, and lots of them... and they were getting closer by the second.
To the mall! We were once again trying to avoid being run over by the cruisers, and now copping some shotgun pellets in our rears.
We somehow made it to the shipping entrance of the plaza, and proceeded up two flights of stairs, exiting at the second level, office floor. Now doing the neo (matrix) trick, which quickly made cover behind a desk, using the office screens as cover.
We could still hear the wails of the police sirens outside, so we stayed put. A few minutes the sirens dimmed, and my buddy made his way over to the glass window, and looked down - the police were starting to leave. Phew, crisis averted!
Ok, so that was the first 30 minutes of the game. I've now played it for 20+ hours and god d**n I'm hooked. There's literally so much you can do, there's just so much freedom. We spent a good couple of hours just driving around looking in different clothing / jewellery / tattoo shops. Then there's the gun shops, car dealers, bikes, boats - and not to forget the airport. There's houses to buy, dozens of cars to try - and then customise; from tyres, paint jobs etc.. all the way up to nos, suspension and engine mods. And of course there's the main mission you can follow, but not only that but there's lots of side missions as well - like pimping yourself to hookers, do streaking runs, car racing, mayhem (my fav), trailblazing, fight clubs, chop shops and many mores...It's bloody UNREAL!
I must warn you though that the game is poorly optimized and will need a beast of a PC to play at good quality. I have a quad core intel running at 3.5ghz, a 260 gpu and 4gb ram and experience some slow downs at high quality.
But overall, to say I'm impressed is an understatement. I've always loved GTA and thought it would be insanely fun to play co-op, and I have finally I have been proven right - and then some.
Highly recommended.
Now excuse me, I've got to go upgrade my new crib.
Warning, long, and lots of SPOILERS:
The character customization is brilliant, the best I have EVER seen bar none. It leaves MMO's for dead, yes, even pre-cu SWG. So my character turned out to be some obese, bald, make up lathered, facially deformed bloke with a females voice, and a bouncing style swagger to boot.
The game loaded, we woke up in a prison hospital - with the nurse removing my head bandages and the line "Yes, that's healed nicely", followed by the unveiling of my deformed, hideous face for the world to see. Yes, it had it us in stitches (no pun intended), and yes, this was just the beginning.
So our first task was to break out of prison. After beating the dr to a pulp, we took the opportunity to play around with our controls. What this really meant was that we were picking up IV stands, bins, and other metal objects and either cracking them over each others heads, or hurling them at each other.
Making our way out of the prison we were unleashing combo's on guards, jumping overhead blows, and backhand slaps were hilarious to see (especially when your character weighs in at 500+ pounds). Before even making our way outside the prison we had already amassed a collection of arms large enough to support a small military invasion - comprising of things including pistols, batons, machine guns, stun guns (again, hilarious to use on your buddy) and a plethora of throwing objects.
Now outside the prison building we were greeted by some police cruisers, which proceeded to try and run us over at max speed. My mate managed to shoot the driver of the closest cruiser, at which point I grabbed his colleague, who had only just bailed out, and used him as a human shield / hostage. With the police now focused on me, "let the hostage go" they were screaming, my buddy quickly flanked the unsuspecting offices, taking them down with his trusty 9mm.
Now, with no more use for my hostage I tried to release him, but if by a stroke of noob luck, I clicked the grab button again which happens to act as a throw button in this situation - and threw the officer clear off a 50foot drop to his messy demise. It is also at this point that we also realised our prison was actually on an island, and a long bloody way from the mainland.
Recovering from our laughter, my buddy proceed to walk down the road, but myself, being somewhat experienced with sandbox style games in the past (gta), jumped in one of the police cruisers and skidded up beside him, "wow" he said, "you can get cars too?!!". He jumped in the passenger seat, I turned the siren on, and off we fled...
After a few bends (and crashes) we pulled up at the prison guards car park, at which point we ditched the cruiser and stole a vehicle each; two jeep 4x4's. We spent the next few minutes racing around on the dirt tracks, ramming each other and just generally having fun, we were again interrupted by gunfire - there were now a dozen or so cops waiting up ahead at the docks.
Putting our foots down we headed straight at them, and together managed to squash, smash, and splat a good several officers... reversing over a few just for good measure.
"Crap! Incoming!", several cruisers came flying around behind us, we quickly jumped from our 4x4's and ran for the docks, "boat, get in!", "sh**, I'm down!" my mate yelled... taking cover behind a large crate I pulled out my m16 which I had been saving for emergencies - focusing fire on the patrol cars they quickly began emitting smoke, then fire - then booom! there was a massive explosion, axles, tyres, bumpers, and shrapnel went flying everywhere...
With the burning remains of the cruiser now providing needed cover, I ran towards my mate who was lying on the dirt in pain. I made it, and if by magic I poured some elixir (possibly beer?) on him and he was back up and ready to go!
Nothing more needed to be said, we sprinted towards the boat and jumped on board. After an action packed ride to the mainland, we now had the whole world at our fingertips. First stop? Clothing store! These bright orange jump suits just wont do it out here.
After a quick study of the map we found a clothing store not far away at all, so off we headed. Trying to keep a low profile we made our way around the back of the plaza, and walked in casually (well, as casually as you can in gear that screams 'i just broke out a prison and i'm angry, and desperate').
The shopkeeper didn't seem to mind though, and gave us a long list of available items. Browsing through this list quickly made our next mission evident - WE NEED MONEY, AND LOTS OF IT! $50 for a cap? $300 for a dress? Youch! So much for the store name - 'on the rag'.
Ok, so how do we make some quick cash we asked each other. Maybe we can steal clothes of people? Ok, so we walked around looking for a suitable victim, eventually finding a man in a black business suit - "get him!". Within 5 seconds he was down. "Crap, we can't get his gear" I said, but what's this, $20? He dropped $20! Our eyes widened and, well... all hell broke lose.
We pulled out our guns and went on a massacre. Civilians were running around with arms in the air screaming for their lives, it was mayhem. But it seemed that our plan to go low key had being long forgotten, there were sirens wailing, and lots of them... and they were getting closer by the second.
To the mall! We were once again trying to avoid being run over by the cruisers, and now copping some shotgun pellets in our rears.
We somehow made it to the shipping entrance of the plaza, and proceeded up two flights of stairs, exiting at the second level, office floor. Now doing the neo (matrix) trick, which quickly made cover behind a desk, using the office screens as cover.
We could still hear the wails of the police sirens outside, so we stayed put. A few minutes the sirens dimmed, and my buddy made his way over to the glass window, and looked down - the police were starting to leave. Phew, crisis averted!
Ok, so that was the first 30 minutes of the game. I've now played it for 20+ hours and god d**n I'm hooked. There's literally so much you can do, there's just so much freedom. We spent a good couple of hours just driving around looking in different clothing / jewellery / tattoo shops. Then there's the gun shops, car dealers, bikes, boats - and not to forget the airport. There's houses to buy, dozens of cars to try - and then customise; from tyres, paint jobs etc.. all the way up to nos, suspension and engine mods. And of course there's the main mission you can follow, but not only that but there's lots of side missions as well - like pimping yourself to hookers, do streaking runs, car racing, mayhem (my fav), trailblazing, fight clubs, chop shops and many mores...It's bloody UNREAL!
I must warn you though that the game is poorly optimized and will need a beast of a PC to play at good quality. I have a quad core intel running at 3.5ghz, a 260 gpu and 4gb ram and experience some slow downs at high quality.
But overall, to say I'm impressed is an understatement. I've always loved GTA and thought it would be insanely fun to play co-op, and I have finally I have been proven right - and then some.
Highly recommended.
Now excuse me, I've got to go upgrade my new crib.